THE PHILIPPINES “I shall return.”
About five years ago I went to the Philippines
with my Gambier buddy Bruce for some diving and R&R. I never did a proper blog of that trip, so here it is – better late than never! I found it a great place to visit – even if you aren’t a diver. Great beaches, wonderful people and very very economical. As General Douglas McArthur said, “I shall return.”
“Why the Philippines?” my friend Larry
asked. “It’s got to be about the 90th place on my ‘must visit’
list.” But then Larry finds all the
adventure he can handle in the sand traps of Maui. Well it’s really one of the
last major destinations in the Pacific that I have yet to visit. That coupled by rave reviews from other
travelers I have met during my travels, and the opportunity to scout out a
potential care giver for my coming old age.
Why the Philippines indeed. The Philippines has the climate and beaches
of Hawaii, the most literate population in Asia, and the over 1,000 different
islands offer a diversity of experiences to satisfy even the most particular of
traveler. Whether one wants to travel as
a backpacker or visit five star accommodations, you can find it in the
Philippines and almost everyone speaks English.
The amazing thing about the Philippines is that North Americans haven’t
discovered it… yet. The Europeans have
discovered the Philippines and are there in droves. In three weeks we saw maybe
a half dozen Canadians and Americans!
ABOUT THE PHILIPPINES
The Philippines, a nation of 90 million
people is the 12th most populous country in the world and is made up
of 7,107 islands that are divided into three major island groups which are
further divided into 17 regions, 81 provinces, 136 cities, 1,494 municipalities
and 41,995 barangays or barrios.
Multiple ethnicities and cultures are found throughout the Philippines
and traveling just a few hundred miles between different islands can be like
traveling to a different universe.
Historically each of the island groups spoke its own distinct language,
180 in all. For about 400 years Spanish
was the Lingua Franca spoken in the Philippines until the American threw the
Spanish out in the Spanish American War at the end of the 19th
Century. In 1987, the government
mandated Filipino and English as the official languages of the
Philippines. Filipino is the “standard”
version of Tagalog spoken mainly in Manila and other major cities, but the
versions spoken in some of the outer islands are as different to the Manila
version of Tagalog as Creole is to French.
In many cases English serves as the more convenient common language.
Just getting between the 7, 107 islands that comprise the Philippines can be an
adventure in itself.
November 2009
Just getting to the Philippines proves to
be an adventure. Rather than do the
sensible thing and just buy a ticket, I am determined to try and use the
thousands of air miles I have amassed
buying toilet paper at Safeway, or nails at Home Depot.
I tried to book my previous trips to
Vietnam and Kenya using my Airmiles, only to be told there were “no seats
available” on any of the dates I wanted to travel.
This time I am determined to travel on
points – no matter what. I tell the
Airmiles clerk I am willing to travel
any day two weeks either side of my stated date.
“Sorry sir.
No seats available.”
“How about 30 days on either side?”
“No seats available.”
“How about six months? A year?”
There’s a moment or two of silence while he
contemplates this. But then he comes up
with an excuse. “Sorry we can’t book that far.
We can only book 270 days in advance.”
I get a calendar, count out 270 days in advance, and circle the date,
and wait by the phone.
Day 271, I call in to check.
“I’m sorry you’ll have to wait till
tomorrow to book at trip.”
“What time do you open?”
“9:00am Eastern Daylight saving time.”
At exactly 9:01am Eastern time. I call in to book my ticket.
“Sorry.
There are no seats available for that date.”
I went through each day for the following
month. Nada.
“I know there are three flights a day,
seven days a week, to the Philippines from the west coast. You can’t expect me to believe that you don’t
have ONE lousy seat on any of them.”
“Sorry.”
“That’s it!
That’s it! I demand to speak to a
supervisor.”
“Certainly sir.”
While I’m waiting for the supervisor, I
manage to shave, shower, have breakfast, get dressed, and get ready to go
out. Fifty minutes and still no
supervisor.” Finally after nearly 90
minutes the supervisor comes on.
“I’m tired of being f**ked over by you
guys!” I shout into the phone.
“Sir, there is no reason to use that sort
of language.”
“I am a professional writer.” I shout back.” I have looked in the Oxford Concise dictionary, and that word
is the ONLY word that describes what you are doing to me.”
“There’s nothing we can do.”
“Yes there is.” I continue.
I want you to Google me. You’ll
find out that I’m a professional travel writer, and your bosses aren’t going to
like what I’m going to be writing later today.
So you WILL find a way to get me to the Philippines, you WILL call me
back, because I’m not spending another three hours on the phone. And you WILL call me back today.” I have to
stop because at this point I’m hyperventilating and the vein in my forehead is
throbbing.
I slam down the phone, and sure enough,
barely a half hour later the supervisor phones back.
“We have managed to book you a flight to
and from the Philippines.”
“See, I knew you could do it.”
“Yes, we can get you out on your requested
date. You just have to get yourself to
Toronto.”
“Toronto?
That’s in the opposite direction.”
Ignoring me she continues: “From there
we’ll fly you Minneapolis, and on to Tokyo. From there will fly you to
Manila. It will only take about 40
hours- not counting layovers. Coming
home you’ll route through Detroit.”
“Fine,” I said just happy to have somehow
scored the tickets.
“I’m not finished,” she interjects.
“Unfortunately there were no seats available on your requested return
date. The best we could do was December
12th – two days later.”
“No problem, fine.”
We go through the details of booking the
trip. As she’s about to say good bye,
she adds one final blow.
“By the way sir, you’re allowed to stay in
the Philippines for 21 days without the hassle of obtaining a visa. Unfortunately due to the non-refundable flight
arrangements you’ve agreed to, you’re one day over the limit. Have a nice day!”
But in this case I had the last laugh.
Once I had a confirmed booking made by Airmiles I called the
airline myself and asked if I could
change my routing.
“Sure, no problem. How do you want to go?
“Out of Vancouver.”
“Out of Vancouver.”
“Makes sense,” she replied.
And in just two minutes I’m routed out of Vancouver. Unfortunately I couldn’t change the dates,
which meant I had to obtain a Visa.
Obtaining a Visa to visit the Philippines is
like a trip to the Twilight Zone. The Philippine Consulate is on the 18th floor of downtown Vancouver’s
Pacific Centre – a modern business office building. (Note: As of last year the Philippine Consulate has moved to Canada Place) But upon being buzzed into the consulate
office I find I have entered some sort of time warp. The inside of the office is like some third
world country circa 1940. The only
thing missing is the big ceiling fan. The
phones are black and actually ring.
Unfortunately for the people on the other end, no one in the office
seems interested in answering them. No
computers anywhere in sight. Everything
appears to be done by hand.
I wait my turn, and when I hand him my Visa
application, he lists off a half dozen documents that I need, including, believe it or not, my bank
statement. It appears that, despite
Larry’s low opinion of the place, they’re afraid I might want to stay there and
live off the state. Who do they think
they are? Canada???
The clerk seems disappointed that I
actually have everything with me and that he will actually have to process an
application that day. Finally after
much stamping of documents, I’m told to go to the cashier wicket and pay $34.50
.
The lady behind the wicket labeled
“Cashier” looks at the fifty dollar bill like she’s never seen cash before, and
steps out of sight. I presume to get
change. However I see her putting on her
coat and hat and getting ready to leave the office. I suggest it would be nice to get my change
before she goes to lunch. The other
clerk points out that they don’t have change.
She’s going down to the bank.
Twenty minutes later I get my change and I’m told to come back in three
days and pick up my passport and visa.
Three days later I arrive back at the
consulate office. The same three people
are staring at the still ringing black phones.
After a few minutes a bored clerk walks up to the wicket. I ask for my visa. He picks up about ten applications each with
a pictured clipped to the upper left corner and begins to slowly shuffle
through them.
“It’s Groberman.” I state. “It begins with a ‘G’.”
He continues to rifle through the small
pile, with no success.
“I’ll give you a hint.” I state, trying to be helpful. “Look
at the pictures. When you get to one that looks like me, stop.”
One more riff through the documents and he
stops. He stares at me, then stares down
at the picture, then back to me. I’m
even wearing the same shirt! After a few
moments he uncertainly selects it.
So on Sunday, it’s off to the
Philippines! More from there, hopefully.
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