HOORAY! I'M OFF TO AFRICA!!!
I’m sitting in an all-day pancake house explaining my upcoming trip to Africa to the “Grumpy Old Man” club (Harry, Max and Tom).
I
was actually planning on going to the Philippines this winter when I mentioned
to my friend Raza from AfricanMecca Safaris I might be interested in a safari
that concentrates on gorillas and chimpanzees – something I didn’t see in my
two previous trips.
I’d
been to Kenya twice and loved the country.
I highly recommend it. I saw
lions, elephants, leopards, hippos, rhinos - but no chimpanzees or
gorillas. To see those you have to move
more inland.
Jeff on Safari in Kenya |
Raza
informed me one of their local partners, Great Lake Safaris, was offering a FAM
tour to a select group of travel consultants and journalists this coming
November. A FAM tour is a familiarization tour aimed chiefly at tour companies and
travel journalists to promote the area, tours, and amenities. Because of his company’s relationship
with the Great Lakes Safaris he was able to ask them to include me on the upcoming
tour. Since there were only going to be six openings, I was pleased when Great
Lakes Safaris offered me a spot.
I
can’t say enough good things about Raza - he’s my African go-to guy.
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Proposed safari through Uganda and Rwanda |
My
proposed safari will take me from Entebbe up to Murchison Falls, through the
Kibale Forest, into Queen Elizabeth Park and into the Bwindi Impenetrable Forest
. Then we cross over into Ronda to visit
Volcanoes National Park. From there travel down south to Nyungwe
Forest National Park and finishing up in Kigali – 14 days in total.
The main
expense on this trip is the park permits – they’re expensive. “I explain to the
boys: “To see the gorillas in Uganda a
permit will set you back $450.00. If you think that’s expensive the permit in
Rwanda has recently been raised to $1500.00!!!
And that gets you ONE HOUR with the gorillas”
At this
point I’m interrupted by a tap on my shoulder from the woman sitting behind us who
has been eavesdropping.
“I’m sorry
to interrupt you boys, but I couldn’t help listening. Who is this Wanda girl and how come she charges
a thousand dollars for one hour?”
“Wanda isn’t a girl,” I explain. “It’s a country, Rwanda. The thousand dollars is for a permit
to see a gorilla.”
“Honey,”
she replies, “For a thousand bucks I’ll dress in any costume you like and swing
from the chandelier!”
I am
really looking forward to this trip, but the part I dread the most is the
brutal long flight getting there: flying time alone is 17 hours (8 hours to
Europe, then 9 hours to Entebbe) – and that’s without stopovers!
I opt to
do the trip in two hops: a flight to Amsterdam, a day layover, then on to
Entebbe. I think I can handle that.
The next
task is getting a visa – or, in this case, two visas since I will be visiting
two countries: Uganda and Rwanda. A
little online research pays off when I discover I can apply for an East African
Visa that will cover BOTH countries. Better yet – I can apply online.
Filling
out the form is pretty straight forward until I press “send” at the bottom of
the form. It comes back with a big red
error message: I have not filled in my phone number in the correct format. No problem – I try a different format and
press send. Same thing. I try nine different formats - no luck. Finally in desperation I phone the Ugandan
embassy in Ottawa.
“Hi,” I greet
the receptionist. “I’m having trouble filling in the online Visa application.
“What
sort of problem are you having?” she asks.
“I can’t
figure out the correct format to enter my phone number,” I reply.
“We get
a lot of calls about that,” she offers.
“So
what’s the answer?”
“I don’t know,” she replies. “They never call back, so I figure they eventually figure it out.”
“I don’t know,” she replies. “They never call back, so I figure they eventually figure it out.”
“Or
decide to go elsewhere.” I offer.
“If you
find out would you let me know?” she asks.
I hang
up take a deep breath and try again. I try
dashes; put the area code in brackets. I
enter 01 as my country code; then drop the 0 and add a + in front – nothing
works. Finally in desperation I run all
the numbers together – no symbols – just one long number…. and BINGO!
I’m informed
that it might take three days to get my approval letter. I have it in two hours – the same amount of
time it took me to figure out the telephone format.
The next
challenge is figuring out what clothes to bring. Looking at my itinerary I see part of
the trip is in the hot humid jungle; but another part is in the mountains where
the temperature can drop to single digits at night. In fact, it’s suggested that one should bring
warm pajamas.
I was
warned to bring good rain gear because I’ll be travelling during what’s
euphemistically called “the rainy period,” where it can rain several inches of
rain in a relatively short period of time – say ten minutes. I have an inspired idea: I will bring the yellow nylon biohazard suitI accidentally bought in China. Not only
will it protect me from the rain, but everything else as well. But, upon reflection, walking around the
jungle filled with monkeys and gorillas dressed as a giant banana might not be
a great idea.
There is
a solution: I’m told I can hire a porter to carry my pack. But why stop there? Why not hire a few more to carry ME around on
a palanquin. It would be a simple matter
to lash a couple of poles to a chair and go in style like Groucho Marx in
Animal Crackers.
correct safari wear? |
Some
travelers recommend NOT bringing jeans – as they tend to get damp during the
hot day and then never dry out. But if
you take thin nylon pants you’ll get stung by the vicious nettles and torn up
from the thorns. Then there’s the
mud…. And you have to look the part as
well. So it was off to my favorite haberdasher
- Value Village - where for a mere thirty dollars I end up with a jungle trousseau.
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Not safe rain gear |
So it’s
a good thing I’m allowed TWO bags on my flight.
But who’s going to schlep all that stuff? Not me.
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my most likely form of transport |
My
friends think it’s more likely that I’ll look like this:
I’ll
have to give this more thought. I have
a few days before I leave.
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